Because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Exams again.

Projects are done. Presentations are over. So exams are coming up nex. Exams from 1st to 3rd March. Having my study week - 5ive pathetic days. But am not putting it in good use cos kinda slack. MA & MHR ca results are out. Satisfied & happy wif my grades. POMkting haven release yet. Hope its gonna be good too. *grinning*

My hp hasn't been beeping unnecessarily after clearing tinks out wif a fren. Typical human beings. Well, i shud be glad & relieved too. Don wanna find us in an awkward situation as time goes by.

Weekends were great.

I shud be happy. I shud be taking it easy. I shudn't be asking for more.

Well... I shud be busy mugging for exams instead of pigging.

*rolls off to tattyland*

Indulgence in Sui dreams

Accompanied Nana to kino to get her jap mag but cud only get it after 6pm thus decided to roam ard to kill time. And guess wad?! The mag wasnt ready by then and Nana was allowed to reserve e mag. WTH. Why din dey say so earlier?! Roamed aimlessly for 4hrs for nothing. Nana and i cud hav went home for our afternoon nap!!

Thu 16th.Feb
Skipped sch. *Opps*

Wed 15th.Feb
Clubbed @ MOS wif Royie & co. First time to MOS. The rnb area is kinda "interesting". Heard tat its like a cage and small but i din expect it to be really so small. Saw Catsy & co. Surprisingly, GY was dere too. The atmosphere dere wasnt tat bad. Jus tat its a lil too crowded.

Tue 14th.Feb
Went to town wif Nana, Mabel, Andy. Had our lunch @ Suki Ramen den roamed ard town while waiting for Darren. Den we had chocolate fondue @ Haagen-Dazs. It was Darren's treat. Supposed to spent v'day wif dem but last min got other plans. Went to meet Bengnifer & co. ard 7plus. Cine KBox was full house thus we went to LYP Partyworld.

Flingy:: Wo hai shi ai ni de. Sorry for tat day. Well, at least i still hav u for half a day. *muackies*

Sat 11th.Feb
2475 gathering @ Beary's house wif xiaoguigui, buyi, naimei, jas, miko, debbie, zhuzai, keiko, yingying. Met Beary ard 2pm @ Amiralty mrt stn. Bought some food back for e girls. Den Beary, Miko and I started to prepare yu sheng and heat up e food while waiting for e rest to reach.

We had a salty lunch. Xiaoguigui and i happily happily add curry into our bee hoon thinking tat it wudnt be tat salty. Worst. And before we cud tell e rest, dey started doing tat too. *faints*

After lunch here comes our yu sheng. And our fave mochi icecream. Thanks Beary.

Entertained ourselves by watching Jay, Energy & S.H.E concert dvd and Jacky wu's variety prog. Helped Beary to choose a name for her new hamster. e lil hammy picked Xiao ke. Played UNO!! whEe~ still got my fave cartoon char - Eeyore. Lastly, our usual crazy photo-snapping. Took us almost an hour. Beary's mama helped us to snap snap but she gave up half way cos we too ma fan. The girls were doing all kinds of stupig pose wif any things they can find - flower pot, cheenapiang fan, debbie's special earrings - which is those deco for cny. Xiaoguigui and i jus sat dere waiting to pose only. LOL. Poor beary had to run here n dere to adjust and set e cam timer.





*self-declared no sch tmr*

Not so happy

Finally done wif MHR proj and left wif POMkting. 3 more weeks to exams.

Thur 9th.Feb
Went to do our POMkting interview wif e girls. Roamed ard in town. Mabel is very funny oso lo.. She wanted to buy bedroom slippers for a very lame reason - the floor is very cold in e morning. Wad can i say? She found e bedroom slippers she wanted but din buy afterall. Waste time. Took a long time to decide whr to go and ended up @ tamp kBox. K for ard 4hrs.

Wed 8th.Feb
Clubbing @ Club Momo wif Anne, Pauline & her sis - Adeline, Andy, Darren & co. 2nd time @ Momo but still don really like e ambience dere. Din really enjoyed myself thou. No kick at all i guess.

Mon 6th.Feb
MHR presentation. All i cud say was i was stunned by tat joker Mabel. For no reason or whatsoever, she jus burst out in laughter while she was delivering her speech. She really can laff anytime anywhere leh. Dots.

Its been some time since e groupie watched movie tgt. But we split into 2 grps. Nana, Anne, Mabel & me watched I Not Stupid Too whilst e guys - Da Sean, Andy, Darren, Chap watched Fearless. After movie met up wif e guys for dinner. Its a fastfood day. Had fastfood for 3 meals. Mac, Yoshinoya & LJS.

Later at night, met Robin for movie again - Fun with Dick and Jane.

Tot of making chocz but i tink its very stupig. And i tink i'll be very lazy. See my mood la.. Tiredness accumulating everyday. Needa catch more sleep. Tmr having a gathering wif my darlings 2475. My pineapple tarts!!

*rolls off to tattyland*

CNY outings

Thur 2nd.Feb (5th day of CNY)
Went to Chap's house for CNY visiting. His mommy was so nice. Prepared lunch for all of us. The dishes were yummy~ Anne, Hanjun, Da Sean, Darren & Chap took turns to play mahjong. While the rest of us played Blackjack. Never trust beginner's luck. First time gambled and i lost. The funny thing is most of the time, Nana & i got the same points. Combined forces wif her but both of us still lost. Andy's luck too powerful alr. Most of us lost to him.

Poor clumsy Nana bumped her head against sth hard early morning. Left her a hump and a wound on her forehead. Omg. She's getting more clumsy these days. Her hump her hump her hump~

*Snap snap* in lecture room

Tue 31st.Jan (3rd day of CNY)
Went to ktv pub @ bq wif Nana, Chap, Darren, Andy & his frens, Xiao Sean & his fren - Andy. Played 5-10 and k-songs. Left ard 3plus. Darn tired. Reached home bathed but jus cudn't get to sleep cos my was spinning like mad. Slept @ ard 6am after chatting for awhile wif Wentao.Din go to sch e nex day.

Me. Nana. Chap. Darren
Rin & Me
Jie & Me
Sis & Me

I was kinda excited and looking forward
but things werent as expected thus i din go yesterday.
I cud have getta seeya today yet i cudn't bring myself to do tat.
I miss you so...

Wad a feeling.

CNY gathering @ Jason's hse wif the groupie. And i din expect to see someone dere too but luckily i was told beforehand. At least am mentally prepared.

The atmosphere in between us was somehow weird till i tried to break e silence only hours later. For a few moments i wished i cud jus disappear when my heart thumped. Dis gonna be the very last time. Possible? For the whole nite i jus don feel easy. My mind was full of thoughts. Disappointing and unhappy.

Din wanted to go home early so went KBox wif Wentao, Dickson, Weijie, Victoria & Zanyan.
K-ed till 4am den mac brekkie.

Home sweet home @ ard 5plus.

Happy Lunar New Year!!

Was so looking forward to CNY. Yup! finally the long awaited day has arrived. Had a whole lot of my fave yummies - especially the pineapple tarts, shark fins soup, homemake tang yuan. Spent a great time wif my cousins and some catching up.

As usual, went to pray before the routined visits. Yet this CNY is somehow different. It felt different. Partly bcos grandpa wasn't around wif us. Having new members in our big family and oso bcos of certain reasons, some din turn up. So so so different compared to the past.

And i was wondering why......

Now.. CNY seems to be a day for giving & receiving red packets, eating goodies, wearing new clothes, gambling (hah! im not the least interested anyway), gathering jus for the sake of gathering bcos its cny? CNY seems to be losing its significance to me.

Left ard 9plus to meet my frens.

I dunno why did i agree to go in the first place. I tot i cud handle it well dis time but i tink i screwed it up again. Silence. Awkwardness.

I still need lotsa courage and time. And i have only myself to blame for bringing back the dreadful feeling.

This CNY gonna etched in my memory.

Shopping and shopping

Dis week is real tiring. Going out after sch almost everyday. Stuffs to buy for cny is almost done except for a bag.

Sat 14th Jan
Did a lil shopping @ orchard wif e gers. Bought a butterfly belt. Shopped ard till 4plus den decided to head hm. Energy totally used up alr.

Fri 13th Jan
Tot can finally stay home to rest after sch but mommy wanted to go chinatown. Sis and i accompanied her dere. Super crowded. Din reali getta enjoy myself cos very tired alr. Reached hm almost 12am. Angry leh. Told my mommy tat i wanna reach hm by 11 so tat can rest early. Argh. Nex week am not gonna kena pull out by her.

Thu 12th Jan
Had to do an interview wif Nana's aunty for our HR project. Before e interview we went to shop around @ City Plaza. The stuffs dere are not tat bad actually jus tat hafta reali look into it. Thou it's wholesale but e pricing is not tat cheap either.

Wed 11th Jan
Went out wif my mommy and sis to do a lil shopping @ TM & CS. Bought a pair of boots similar to e one tat i saw @ far east. Hahas. Seems tat when i giv up on e stuffs i wanted to buy i'd get it eventually.

Retail therapy is never enuff

After sch.. my gers & i chop chop finish our short discussion & off to town. Our stomachs grumbled & rumbled while waiting for tat ryan-the-bag-of-bones.


Lunch-ed @ Cine - Pastamania. Our pasta tasted kinda bland. Ain't as yummy as before.

Went to Far East & Icon wif Nana.Anne.Mabel.Ryan. Was searching for boots but to no avail. Guess am gonna get heels instead. Icon was reali great. Lotsa good buys. Saw lotsa pretty dresses dere. Planned to look for few tops & skirts/jeans instead of dresses since we hav searched almost all of e shops @ far east & heeren but none were nice. Until Nana spotted e dresses @ icon. Woo~

Bought tube dresses/necklaces/jacket.

Good buys. Especially e necklaces. Unique & nice. Got many diff designs & colors. and it's awfully cheap. 3 of us bought 2 each. Gonna go back for more. Thankies to Anne who spotted e shop. And of cos her boy who brought us to icon. Kinda fascinated when i stepped into e building. Too bad not all e shops are open thou. Some shops are still empty.

The 2 necklaces tat i bought. Fancy e 2nd one lots.

Finally got myself sth for cny. Great. But its pretty sad cos am awfully broke now. Hopefully daddy gonna sponsor my heels/belt/jeans/bag etc etc.

Another round of retail therapy on thur?!

So much to buy yet so lil to spend.


Those bad memories seem to be coming back again.
It has been a year but why are those hurtful words
and painful feeling still so vivid to me
as if it happened yesterday.

don wanna cry to sleep again.

maybe i'll get over it. someday. somehow.