happiness.found.n.lost

Day 1 of A Break from Our Relationship

Breakup or a break from relationship ? i cant differentiate da difference between dis two.. he said he needed a break not breakup.. but da tinks he did made me feel like is a clean breakup.. he's single now? OK.. mayb i get ya msg le.. Nice one.. so.. he returned me da status of being single n available? oh well.. im not available.. cos my heart is still wif him..

As expected.. no msg or wadsoeva i wud get from him.. but.. juz a msg asking "u called ?" funny.. how cud i possibly gather da courage to call even if i wanted to..

So long he's not running in my mind, i feel so peaceful n calm.. da tot of him, i feel so lost n confused.. wadz worst was.. my tears juz unknowingly flow down.. i simply dunno wad went wrong.. Stressed? No conversations? Drifted apart? Excuses!! In life, dere will b tonnes n tonnes of tinkz for one to accomplish.. somehow or rather dere will b stress.. so when's dere stress, u chose to leave me.. no conversations? i oso hope to improve on tat thou i seriously haf no idea wad to do bout it.. but.. im still learning to improve.. Drifted apart bcos u were busy wif ya assignments n din haf da time for me? u felt tat u din play ya role well as a bf bcos u kept me waiting.. u felt tatz unfair for me n u cant b selfish.. faints~

gRrrr~ stupig reasons which seems like excuses-to-me u can tot of ya.. i dun mind dis at all.. i can wait for u to finish all ya assignments n all tat..

Initially, my intuition told me smt wasnt rite.. since monday.. i wondered when did all dis craps started in u.. but lata i tot tat u were neglecting me bcos of ya assignments n after some thinking, i told myself u cant possibly kip me accompanied 24/7.. u still gotta haf some time for ya own.. ok.. i tried to b understanding but u din wanna gimme a chance to do so..

Well.. mayb im juz being naive.. mayb those r simply reasons from u to me to initiate a breakup.. juz tat u wanna make it sounds so nice.. But.. It din sound Nice At All.. Absoultely No! u're juz making me felt like a fool for not even knowing wadz da real REASON for us to come to dis ending point.. or mayb ya facing alot of probz tat lead u to dis decision den y wont u share them wif me? u told me before not to bottled up my unhappiness.. but arent u doing da same? i juz wanna stay by ya side sharing both weals n woes.. Do u understand?

First, it was my intuition.. den.. i had dis weird n ridiculous dream on thursday nite.. i dreamt of u initiating a breakup bcos u chose to b wif ya ex-gf.. fine.. but.. it turned out to b tat ya ex-gf is 59-year-old.. oh my.. in da dream i tot how cud u possibly chose her over me.. den i found out tat she's blardly rich.. n u used to cohabit wif her.. tat was totally unbelievable when i woke up tinking of wad an imaginative dream i've got.. LOL.. ta-dah.. den i got ya msg a few hours lata.. So its was actually a premonition? *shrugs

And all i cud do now is.. Wait, wait n still wait.. Wait till u haf finished all ya assignments.. Wait till ya ready to tok.. I wanna solve dis out wif u.. I still cant believe tat i had actually lost u, dear..

Boringgg Saturday ??

Spent a lazy afternoon at home after my Introductory Economics test.. 25 MCQ qns.. duh~ I was on da phone wif my darling xiaoguigui helping her out wif Web Publishing test lata @ 7pm.. den i chatted wif my baobei sista Stephie, Sharon, Beary n Papa.. Haha.. papa very onz lo.. Initially, we were chatting bout where i stayed.. den he asked if i stayed near Fisherman Village.. Haha.. *ting ting ting* I wanna go dere to eat n slack at da beach.. so i chop chop get papa, xiaoguigui n beary to go wif me.. muahahaha.. stupig tang-ge last minute backed out n my doggie terry gotta attend a dinner..

Off to Fisherman Village~ ^{*yUm yUm*}