Went to orchard in da evening to mit xiaoguigui n beary.. On walking to far east, we met xz, bu n 2 other frens.. dey were waiting for B.A.D.. haha.. so qiao.. missed dem sia.. very very longg din mit up wif dem le.. and da nex tink i did was to gif xz a big hug.. hee.. i noe she misses me alot too..
As planned for today was to visit Botanical Garden wif xiaoguigui, beary n jas.. haha.. excited.. my first time to botanical garden.. cos xia0gUigui wanted to snap some pix of da plants and nidda identify their names for her sch proj.. We went. but.. only halfway.. we reached da bus stop ard 0910pm.. haha.. cant believe it rite.. so late still go dere for wad.. worm already told me it will b very dark but i din listen anyway.. da road to botanical garden is damn long.. nidda walk about 30mins.. g0sh.. da road so dark.. summore so late.. den da surroundings all big big trees, bungalows.. abit eerie.. so we decided to go back to orchard for our dinner..
while walking back, saw some nice plants so had some shots of it.. Lucky her.. at least can start drawing some of it le.. sad.. she's staying up tonite to do her drawing.. my daRliNg xiaogUiguIi, jiA y0u~ keEp it uP! lol.. u noe wad i meant rite..
27th Jan Thursday
Went back to sch to do my csad assignment.. did abit only.. finished designing da necessary windows.. not done wif da codes yet.. dUh~ gotta stay in sch to continue da nex day.. sianzation~ lucky is bcos friday got my BFA quiz.. so dun nidda purposely cum back to sch.. still say is one week break.. more like an assignment-completion-week.. but i haven complete any.. got csad, swen, wbat, bbFin, intrEcon n da most waste time n stupig cmsk3.. hate it to da core..
Left sch at 5plus den called xiaoguigui to mit her at orchard to accompany her to shop for cny clothes.. ended up she bought all those cha-pa-lang clothes.. not even one is for cny.. =.= we had dinner at Subway @ Far East.. my first time.. lol.. den we were craving for fruits.. wanted to go cineleisure to buy fruits but bought seedless grapes at 7-11 instead.. whilst walking n chatting, xiaoguigui n i realised smt.. tatz was da First Time only da both of us go orchard gai gai.. so many first time-s wif her.. LOL.. had a great nite wif her..
26th Jan Wednesday
Actually planned to mit froggy & co. at orchard in da evening but only to find out tat he's already at chinatown when i reached orchard.. jokes.. i din call him so he tot i not mitting le.. lucky worm oso at orchard shopping for clothes so decided to mit him else gotta rot till 1130pm.. whilst goin to mit him, dropped by at taka to look for my xiaoguigui.. hee.. she came to starbucks to look for us after her work.. actually she din wanted to join us cos she said she's shy~ =.= had a hard time to bring her back to her seat after goin to da ladies.. we were seen pulling n dragging by worm's 2 frens.. =.= sia suayed.. den worm & co. went to chinablack.. xiaoguigui accompanied me to wait for stephie to mit me after her work.. we sat somewhere at wheelock n crapped again.. lol..
After tat mit up wif steph, cheryl, geraldine n emily to go Black de.. but my dear stephie din bring her ic out.. haha.. cant go in.. security very strict.. so steph n i went to boat quay instead.. haha.. not bad lo.. did enjoy la.. went home @ 6am.. headache n tired.. but i noe after my bath sure cant slp again.. poor worm chatted wif me till almost da sun fully rise den he buay tahan.. cos he's a vampire worm.. muz slp before da sun comes out.. haha..
4:57am - See! Im still here.. Not sleepy at all.. Lata got sch summore.. =.= Saturday nite was a beta nite for me.. Slept longer n soundly compared to last few nites.. cos stupig worm amused me wif all his expressions.. but.. He frightened me suddenly when he said smt wif his expression.. I oso dunno y.. but i juz screamed n look straight in front.. den he tot behind him got smt.. LOL.. Tat sharp n loud scream of mine scared him too.. But i din did it on purpose wor.. hee..
I noe u gals reali cared alot for me.. thanz for all da concern n da accompany.. Felt much much beta le.. I'll be fine.. cos i dun wanna u all to worry for me..
Da past few days n nites were darn bad for me.. When i woke up, i felt so lost n my heart so heavy as if i had lost smt so important to me.. At nite, when i close my eyes, he wud appear on my mind n again, cried to slp.. din sleep well at all.. slept at 5 or 6 plus but nex day 12plus will auto wake up.. tatz unlike me.. worst still.. I din feel any hunger da whole day..
Stress as a reason to breakup is ridiculous but i chose to believe it.. cos i juz cant accept da fact tat he had a change of heart n a third party was involved.. Haf been tinking so much recently.. and i did xiang tong alot le.. I cant let myself carry on like dis.. Not bcos i no longer love him.. Honestly, i still love him as much as i did.. I still tink of him every now n then.. My heart still care for him n wondering if he's doin fine.. But.. its pointless.. He's not worth it..? (everyone is telling me dis) His heart is no longer wif me.. Once feelings haf faded, i cant possibly insist to hold on.. It will only make him hate me.. I wudnt wan it to turn out tat way.. I wan him to be happy alwaz.. Mayb some time down da road we wud still b frens.. chattin anytink under da sun.. laffin at da silly tinks we did.. exchanging da "happenings" in our unpredictable lives.. Maybe.. But.. For now.. I noe i juz cant bring myself to face u.. Im not prepared yet.. Not till da day my heart has let u go..
Every breakup is juz only a process of growing up in life.. it allows u to noe yaself beta n noe exactly wad u wan.. anyway, thanz
i cherished you n those happy memories u haf given me..
those moments spent together were wonderful and unforgettable..
xie xie ni rang wo chang dao xing fu de wei dao..
Dere's still alot of tinks for me to accomplish n learn ya.. Im accepting da fact.. Im learning to let go.. Im learning to forget.. I gotta b true to myself.. he's already a past.. no longer mine.. Itz time for me to wake up from da once-used-to-be-our
6:10am
*** *** ***
Meaningful
放棄你
好多次都想放棄 這一段糾結的感情
一直不願說服自己 你早已變了心
你變的不可理喻 連神也猜不透你的心
曾經相愛的人說變就變 你對我好不公平
不想要放棄 我不願意放棄 我情願放棄自己
不想要相信 我不願意相信 最愛的人就是最無情
不想要放棄 我不願意放棄 我不是你的一步棋
不想要相信 我不願意相信 最後放棄的竟是你
abstracted from deyb's bloggie..
fang qi ni.. bu xiang que mei you xuan ze.. No Choice..
愛一個人,
要了解,也要開解;要道歉,也要道謝;
要認錯,也要改錯;要體貼,也要體諒;
是接受,而不是忍受;是寬容,而不是縱容;
是支持,而不是支配;是慰問,而不是質問;
是傾訴,而不是控訴;是難忘,而不是遺忘;
是彼此交流,而不是凡事交代;
是為對方默默祈求,而不是向對方諸多要求;
可以浪漫,但不要浪費;可以隨時牽手, 但不要隨便分手。
一切只因為愛你...
因為愛你....所以放手讓你自由...
因為愛你....所以不在讓你困擾...
因為愛你....所以寧願自己難過...
因為愛你....所以我逼我自己離開...
credits to beary.. very meaningful n sweet..